Answering Your Questions from Instagram

I posted a story a couple weeks ago allowing you to ask any question. I also took questions from prior messages. If I didn’t answer them here, then either they are intelligent enough and thoughtful enough to deserve a post of their own, or they are stupid. Who said there are no stupid questions???

What is your best advice NOT related to sex or relationships?

1.       Take responsibility for every. Single. Thing. In your current life. All of it. Examine your life and tell yourself the truth of how you got there.  Then fix it if you need to or celebrate it if you need to.  I saw a quote recently on my friend Emily’s page that said, “You deserve to celebrate not only who you’ve become, but who you could have become and fought not to be.”  And that was a wake-up call for me. I will celebrate more in 2023 and I will do it in whatever way that I consider celebrating. Not what people tell me I “should” do.  My last “celebration” was a trip to my friend Holly’s house where we sat by a fire talking all night, read oracle cards, shopped our hearts out at the Metaphysical stores and tried to teach ourselves to read tea leaves for fun.

2.       Don’t wait to do something you have wanted to do. Do it afraid.  Do it alone. Stop making excuses. You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.

3.       And keep your circle small because as sad as it is to say, people are very often only thinking of themselves, so the advice you get will be based in their best interest.

4.       Successful people do not criticize other people. Successful people are either encouraging you, promoting you, or indifferent to you because they are focused on their own goals. If someone is criticizing you or talking about you negatively, they are suffering in their own lives somewhere. Just ignore them.  Another quote I saw once said “Losers focus on winners; winners focus on winning”

5.       Max out your retirement plans and don’t use credit cards unless they are paid in full monthly.

6.       Love is not enough.

What are your relationship deal breakers?

1.       I think the main one is any man that doesn’t own his situation in life. I have no tolerance for people that blame others or act like a victim.  Tell me what you are doing about it, tell me what you learned, or don’t tell me about it, rather than telling me what was done to you.  We all have stories, I have some brutal stories if I wanted to tell you and wallow in it, but I don’t.

2.       The 2nd one which is painful and I figure this one out quickly is small talk. I HATE it. I prefer to not talk at all over you talking about the weather or a tv show. If we have nothing meaningful to discuss, or you cannot sit in silence with me when we have nothing significant to say, then I am not interested.

3.       Lying-Transparency- If I don’t trust you, then I am out.  And by trust, I mean that you will tell me the truth, good or bad. Not what you think I want to hear.  I have to know that whatever you do say is the truth.  I don’t lie. I do not think people need to tell each other everything, but if you are telling me something, or I ask about something either say “I am not going to tell you” or tell me the truth.

What do you do for fun?

·         Nothing. Seriously.

 Why are you single?

There is a funny IG reel that I wanted to use for this so many times. It is a song where they have clipped this section: “Maybe my soul mate died, I don’t know, maybe I don’t have a soul” (said in a singing fashion).

Honestly, I have not wanted to do the work that I know it takes to be in a relationship because I have been focused on my own work.  My healing, my business, and my career (I work a full-time job and run a business full time). I don’t want to take time off, waste days/nights/weekends not working.   It takes a strong, confident man to simply trust me and let me be me. I do sometimes have men in my life, and I ask myself “Am I ready to give up all of the men in my life for this one?” and so far the answer has been no. I think I may be changing that this year, my readiness I mean. I have an interest in and a connection with someone, but it takes more than feelings, so we’ll see.

 What are you reading? What would you recommend others read?

I read sales books and financial books for my day job, I read spiritual and metaphysical books for my personal growth, I listen to podcasts related to health and wellness a lot. Currently reading: Journey to the Dark Goddess, Dear Lover, and Beyond Order. For work, my boss has us reading The Energy Bus.

I have so many books that I recommend others read, but to be honest, right now, in this moment. I wish everyone would read and grasp The Way of the Superior Man (men and women should read). Dear Lover is looking like a must read as well. I am so turned on by this book. I need a man like this in my life.

 What is in your Amazon cart right now?

That was a good one, a creative question, I like it.  Now I say that before I go look and hope I don’t embarrass myself, because remember, I don’t lie. Haha

Okay here it goes, in my “saved for later” I have a shit ton of books. Encyclopedia of Magical herbs, Botanical Magic, Be Here Now by Ram Dass, Polishing the Mirror also by Ram Dass, Your Next 5 Moves, and the list goes on.  I also have several Nude female sculptures (clients will eventually see those on my altar), I have a lot of oils, which I use for massage, Affirmation cards and other similar items, spiritual décor type items, a stroller/carrier for my cat. That is the gist of it, nothing embarrassing. Whew.

 What is your opinion on Twin Flames?

Ugh. Run. If they exist, it is toxic, not meant to be together. There is nothing beautiful about it.  I know I should write more about this, but the closest I will get is a post I am working on, which will be in audio format about why I think we should not choose our committed relationships based on feelings.

 Do you practice Tantra every day? 

In its truest form, I would say most days yes.  To be clear, that is not tantric sex. I sure as heck do not have sex daily and in fact, have not had sex in a very long time. I withhold sexual energy for long periods of time on purpose occasionally so that I can use the energy to fuel my goals and my life.  Sometimes, circumstances do not put me in proximity of someone I would let penetrate me.  I also practice some type of spiritual practice daily. Usually, meditation or work with my altar, or breathwork or something related to my spiritual practice.

 And for my most asked question:  What is your favorite position? – This is an idiotic, pedestrian question that immediately tells me you are terrible in bed. I’m sorry. Please stop asking women this question. The level of brain function used to have this conversation is miniscule and just so extremely boring. The partners that I have sex with or have had even good sex with have never asked me my favorite position.  If they are having sex with me, they are present and they pay attention.  This question does not count for clients asking in a session because they want to learn about women. I am talking about men asking as if it is a sexy question.